Ingo zubu zitamara kabiri zizira kubura umuco

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Kera byari bigoye kugira ngo umugore n’umugabo batandukane urugo rusenyuke, ijambo “GATANYA” bakunze kwita divorce mu ndimi z’amahanga ntiryabagaho mu muco w’abanyarwanda. Ryaje kuza nyuma y’umwaduko w’abazungu ubwo ryashyirwaga mu mategeko y’igihugu. Aho gatanya iziye kugeza ubu, biragaragara ko ingo zisenyuka zigenda ziyongera.

Zimwe mu mpamvu zikunze kuvugwa ku isenyuka ry’ingo, ni iterambere mu itumanaho, no kuba nta rukundo rukiba mu bashakanye. Alphonse ni umushoferi muri Gare ya Huye, yatangarije URUNGANO Magazine ko impamvu muri iki gihe ingo z’abanyarwnda zitagikomera ari ukubera ko nta rukundo rukibaho. Yagize ati “Ntihazagire ukubeshya ko muri iki gihe hari urukundo rukibaho. Buri muntu asanga mugenzi we agamije kubaho neza mu bintu by’umugabo we cyangwa umugore we. Iyo atabibonye rero, byanze bikunze ata mugenzi we akajya gushaka ubifte. Ikindi kandi cyorohereza ab’ubu gusenya ingo zabo ni iterambere ry’imbuga nkoranyambaga zisigaye zica ibintu.

Umugore ziramurarura, n’umugabo akishakira utwana duto n’ab’ibibero byiza. Ubwo se urumva wambwira ko izo ngo zizaramba? Ni iby’Imana” N’ubwo hari abemeza ko ikoranabuhanga n’urukundo rutakiba mu bashakanye ari byo bisenya ingo mu Rwanda, abakuze bo siko babibona. Bo bemeza ko hari imwe mu mihango y’umuco itagikurikizwa mu gushinga urugo. Umukecuru Generoza Mukagakwaya wo mu Karere ka Nyanza mu Murenge wa Rwabicuma mu Kagari ka Mwimo, yagize ati: “Umukobwa wa kera yarangwaga n’imyitwarire myiza kandi agatinya abasore. Ntiwashoboraga kubona umukobwa ukururana n’abasore. Kugirango umusore ashakirwe umugore si we wajyaga kumurambagiza, ahubwo umuranga ni we wamurambagizaga kuko ari we wabaga umuzi. Ariko ab’ubu bahuzwa na za telefoni, nyuma y’ukwezi bakaba barashyingiranywe. Ntawe uzi undi, yewe n’imiryango ubwayo itaziranye. Ubwose koko urwo rugo murumva ruzamara kabiri?” Si umuco wo gushinga urugo wibagiranye gusa, ahubwo hari n’umuco wo gucyemura amakimbirane hagati y’umugabo n’umugore. Mukecuru Generoza yakomeje agira ati: “…Ikindi kandi burya hari uburyo twacyemuraga ibibazo byo mu rugo hagati y’umugabo n’umugore. Iyo umwe yarakazaga undi, yamuciraga buguf akamusaba imbabazi. Hari uburyo umugabo yasabaga umugore we imbabazi, umugore nawe akamwubaha. Byanaba ngombwa ko uba ugiye wenda kugira ngo abitekerezeho ukahukana. Igihecyazagera akaza kugucyura. Ariko ab’ubu bararwana ndetse bakanicana, abandi wagira ngo urahukanye, ahubwo akazana undi. Ibyo ntibyabagaho rwose.”

Kuba ingo z’iki gihe zitakiramba nk’iza kera, nayo ari ingaruka ya jenoside.

Umuyobozi w’akarere ka Nyanza Bwana Ntazinda Erasme, asanga kuba ingo z’iki gihe zitakiramba nk’iza kera, nayo ari ingaruka ya jenoside yakorewe Abatutsi mu 1994. Yagize ati: “Burya mu ngaruka za jenoside dufte, harimo n’ihungabana ry’umuryango n’umuco wawo. Kuko burya ibyageze aho umubyeyi yica umwana, kera bitarabagaho, murumva ko umuco w’umuryango wangiritse cyane… Indi ngaruka ikomeye jenoside yasize mu muryango, ni iy’uburere umwana akura mu muryango akuriramo. Burya umwana afata ababyeyi be nk’abashobora byose, kandi bakabareberaho mu byo bababonaho. Niba rero bafashe umubyeyi bakamwicira imbere y’umwana, urumva ko bihungabanya umwana, ku buryo n’uzamurera bitazamworohera.”
Meya wa Nyanza yabwiye Urungano Magazine kandi ko hari uburyo abaturage ba Nyanza bagerageza gucyemura icyo kibazo mu kagoroba k’ababyeyi. Yagize ati “Uretse no kuba hari abatandukana, hari n’abo nakwita ba Nyirandarwemeye, hari uburyo buriho bwo kugirango ikibazo kijye kirangirira mu muryango bitagiye hanze ngo byangize umuryango kurushaho. Muri bwo navuga nk’Umugoroba w’ababyeyi, nawo uradufasha mu gucyemura ibibazo byo mu muryango.”

Amwe mu mabanga y’umuco yafasha ingo z’ubu gukomera

Umuyobozi w’Inzu Ndangamurage y’Igihugu Ishami rya Huye, Safari Jean Baptiste, ashyira ayo mabanga mu moko abiri akurikira: Amabanga yo mu buryo butagaragara:

- Kera nta muhungu warongoraga umukobwa atarangiwe n’inshuti cyangwa umuryango, kuko nibo babaga bamuzi neza. Ariko ubu musigaye muhurira kuri whatsapp na facebook.

- Kera bagiraga ibiganiro bijyana n’uko ingo zubakwa, ndetse bikajyana n’umuco, bikabera mu Rubohero, aho rwahuzaga abakobwa n’abagore bakuru. Baganiraga ku bibazo bahura nabyo, ndetse bakajya inama y’uko ibyo bibazo byacyemuka.

- Bagiraga indangagaciro zaheshaga ishema imiryango, buri wese akazizirikana, kugirango abandi mu muryango batamugaya.

- Bahoraga bafte ibyo bahugiyeho, mu itorero nta gihe gipfa ubusa bagiraga. Nta mwanya bagiraga wo kujya mu bidafte umumaro, kugira ngo wenda habe hagira ujya gutwara umugore w’undi, uretse ko banazirikanaga za kirazira zanabafashaga kubana neza n’abandi. Amabanga yo mu buryo bufatika:

- Urugo rw’umugabo n’umugore rwari urw’umuryango mugari. Uwo muryango mugari ni wo warubaga hafi. Umuryango wagiraga uruhare mu kubanisha umugore n’umugabo. Ibyo byatumaga uwo muryango uhorana icyizere cy’uko hari ababari hafi babafasha gucyemura ibibazo byose bahura nabyo.

- Iyo umukobwa yabaga ashyingiwe, nta mpungenge yagiraga z’aho agiye kuko yabaga azi ko agiye mu muryango.

- Kera nta wiryaga ngo yimare. Uwabaga atoroye yaragabirwaga. N’umubyeyi utoroye cyangwa uri ku rugendo yagiraga inkongoro y’umwana, aho ageze hose bakamushyiriramo amata. Ariko ubu umuturanyi araburara kandi wamennye ibiryo, akarwaza bwaki wowe ubogora amata buri munsi. Ibyo rero byahaga icyizere umuryango.

Asoza yatangarije URUNGANO Magazine ko imbuga nkoranya mbaga atari zo ntandaro yo gusenyuka kw’imiryango, ko ahubwo zigira umumaro wo guhuza abantu, ariko ntizigire umumaro mu kumenya uwo mwahahuriye. Ngo icya ngombwa ni ukumenya neza uwo muzabana.

KAMBALE Patrick

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